Episode 10 - "Happy Birthday Zack"

Episode 10 – “Happy Birthday Zack”

Well after some bad craziness and a couple of missed deadlines we’re back and into DOUBLE DIGITS! I have officially spent more time on this project than I did on my 2 brief forays into post-secondary education. So I guess it goes to show that you don’t need to go to university to be a success, so long as your definition of success is writing a sarcastic blog about Power Rangers twice a week! Let’s get to it.

We start things off this week at the gymnasium/juice bar with a closeup shot of the very cleverly named “cake-o-matic.” Ernie is dicking around with it while Billy dances around with an oldschool walkman! Unfortunately Billy can’t hear what’s going on around him because of the kickin’ groove and Ernie has some trouble with the “cake-o-matic” and ends up covered in blue foam. It’s never really made clear how exactly the blue foam was going to produce cake but let’s not forget Billy made a flying Volkswagen so anything’s possible.

On the moon Rita is cackling away about needing to produce a present for Zack’s birthday. I will admit I was a tad distracted by Billy’s dancing so I don’t actually remember anyone mentioning it was Zack’s birthday but the episode is called “Happy Birthday Zack” so we’ll just assume everyone knows. Finster explains he’s going to make the perfect monster for wiping Zack out for good.

Back at the gymnasium/juice bar Billy can’t figure out what the heck is wrong with his useless machine. Jason comes up and thanks Ernie for keeping the gymnasium/juice bar open late so they can decorate for Zack’s surprise birthday party. Ernie starts to tell the plucky attitudinal teens the crazy thing he heard about the Power Rangers and Billy plays dumb: “The Power Who?” Look, I understand that you’re supposed to keep your identity a secret but we’ve seen several newscasts talking about the Rangers AND let’s not forget they pilot GIGANTIC FUCKING ROBOTS THAT FIGHT EQUALLY GIANT MONSTERS! To pretend to not know what the Power Rangers are is not only suspicious it’s downright retarded. Shame on you Billy, I’d expect that kind of idiocy from Kimberly, but you? You should know better. Anyway Ernie compares the Rangers to Batman and Jason tells Ernie that he heard that the Rangers are space aliens, which freaks Ernie right out. In parade Bulk and Skull who proceed to blow their noses on the banner for Zack’s birthday. Skull starts into hitting on Trini who pushes him into a pile of… something. (The video quality on this file was low for me so I can’t really see what the hell it was, but it seemed to annoy him.) Jason and Billy trick Bulk and Skull into running head first into a large metal pole (I have no idea where it came from) and then Skull runs into the “cake-o-matic” and gets covered in more foam. Oh you guys, can’t you go one week without getting covered in some sticky goop?

Back in space Rita says she needs a special type of beast this time. They settle on “The Nasty Knight” he’s a big dude in armour. He actually looks pretty cool.

In the gymnasium/juice bar the teens are nearly finished with the set up for the party. Ernie runs in and informs them that Zack is on his way in and we have a fast forward montage of everyone tearing everything down. Zack strolls in and asks if Ernie has seen the gang, Ernie plays dumb in possibly the best piece of acting we’ve seen in a Power Rangers episode ever.

Meanwhile, Squatt, Baboo and Finster are pounding on an anvil building a magic sword for the Nasty Knight. Rita casts a spell and summons the Nasty Knight! I’m a bit confused because usually Finster just creates everything, but whatever.

The next day Zack approaches Kimberly and asks her if he looks any older, she plays dumb (not a stretch) and says that he looks the same. Zack seems a little disappointed. Well, actually he seems really heartbroken. Look, I get that we want the party to be a surprise but that doesn’t mean all his friends have to pretend they forgot about him. The party is the part that’s supposed to be a surprise. The rest of the gang walks up to Kimberly and asks why Zack seems so depressed, Kimberly informs them that “he thinks we forgot his birthday” gee Kimberly, I wonder why he thinks that. Anyway, they decide that he’ll be fine once they surprise him.

At this point we’re more than halfway through the episode and have yet to see the monster or the rangers in action. I sense a rushed power sword ending on the horizon.

We cut to Zack wandering alone in a canyon soliloquizing (now that’s a god damn word-a-day calendar worthy word) about how much his friends suck for forgetting his bday. Suddenly, Zack is ambushed by Rita and her goons with the Nasty Knight in tow!

IT’S MORPHIN TIME! BUT JUST FOR ZACK!!!

Zack leaps into battle with his cool axe and starts dueling the Nasty Knight, but the NK busts out a crazy sword lazer blast which explodes Zack but good. Goldar gets involved and blasts Zack again and then Squat and Baboo blow up some weird bomb thing for no apparent reason. At the command center Alpha and Zordon notice that Zack is getting pwned and he sends the rest of our heroes to the rescue.

IT’S MORPHIN TIME FOR EVERYONE ELSE THIS TIME!!!

The Rangers charge in to assist their friend, but the Nasty Knight isn’t too worried. He uses his crazy sword and ruins the rangers fancy weapons! Jason instructs the rangers to use their blade blasters and do the wacky shoulder pyramid triforce laser shooty thing, but NK just shoots their blast back at them! Rita pitches in and makes NK grow! Things are getting serious.

WE NEED DINOZORD POWER! NOW!!!

After the longest zord summoning sequence EVER (seriously they go through each ranger summoning their zord separately, it’s like 2 minutes of stock footage) the rangers waste no time (well ok, they waste a little time posing, but not much) in forming up the Megazord. It was quite nice of the Nasty Knight to wait so patiently while all this bullshit was going on but Rita’s goons are nothing if not patient. The Nasty Knight is still getting the upper hand in the fight though so, Jason summons the Power Sword (told ya) but Nasty Knight manages to FRY IT! OMG!!! Nasty Knight drops the Megazord and starts curb-stomping him. While Nasty Knight takes a page out of the rangers playbook and poses for a while Zack figures out that the reason NK is beating them is that he absorbs their power. The Megazord shoots some special laser out of his eyes that apparently stops this and then the Megazord does the crazy sword move and blows him up! As usual, Rita is piiiiiiiiiiissssseed.

We cut to the gymnasium/juice bar where everyone pops out to surprise Zack. He is SO surprised, he was bumming (his words) but now it’s all good. But, uh-oh! The cake-o-matic goes mental again and Billy and Ernie flop around in sticky goo while all the other teenagers dance around to this really really weird happy birthday song into the credits!

THE GOOD

It’s nice to see a monster give the rangers a bit of a challenge before they inevitably destroy it with the stupid power sword.

THE BAD

I dislike power sword finishes, they’re too easy and overused.

THE HILARIOUS

The cake-o-matic. ‘Nuff said

Hey now! That was a bit more like it, the usual stupidity aside I kind of dug that one! That might be nostalgia speaking because I distinctly remember owning this episode on VHS when I was a wee lad, but regardless it was a fun episode. 4 Power Coins out of 5.

Well, that’s it for this week. Thanks everyone for going along with the missed days and the schedule change I’m going to try really hard to make sure there aren’t any more interruptions in the schedule. If you have any comments or questions or just want to say hello send me an email at joeygruszecki@gmail.com I’d like to hear from you! Don’t miss next week’s exciting story “No Clowning Around” which sees the rangers square off against my old 8^th grade science teacher who used to accuse me of clowning around all the time… I hope the rangers stomp the bitch.