Episode 9 - "For Whom the Bell Trolls"

Episode 9 – “For Whom the Bell Trolls”

We’re back after a week of absence. I apologize again to everyone for not having a post up on Monday and thank those of you who emailed in for your free hand drawn picture of a duck. I have some more done up so if you’re still interested in receiving one just send me an email at joeygruszecki@gmail.com and I’ll either scan and email it to you or snail mail you the original. Now, onto the episode

RECAP

We start off this week at Angel Grove High! (It’s like the first time we didn’t start at the gymnasium/juice bar!) A teacher is introducing the fact that it is “hobby week” at Angel Grove High. (I know what you’re thinking, I thought the same thing. What the fuck is “hobby week” and why are high school students having show and tell?) Trini has volunteered to share her interests with her classmates, we learn that Trini collects dolls that apparently represent many cultures from around the world. When she says this all the teens nod appreciatively and make noises of approval. Whoever wrote this episode never went to highschool. If someone tried to show their classmates their collection of multi-cultural porcelain dolls they’d be mocked, savagely beaten and made to eat their own hair. (Which actually sounds preferable than being forced to be SHOWN someone’s porcelain, multi-cultural doll collection but, I digress.) Bulk and Skull are unimpressed, and neither am I. I say give Bulk and Skull power coins, they’d make awesome rangers. Trini picks up a freaky troll doll which is named Mr. Ticklesneezer (who the fuck comes up with the names on this show?!) and says it’s her favorite because it belonged to her mum. Trini tells us that there is a legend that says that Mr. Ticklesneezer has the power to capture people and put them in a magic bottle, not a great power but let’s face it his name is Mr. Ticklesneezer.

On the moon, Rita is bitching that she never got to play with dolls when she was a kid so she’s decided to take out her buried childhood aggression on Trini. The chubby teacher asks Jason to tell the class about his hobby and we see him spin a large stick around and make kung-fu noises. Bulk and Skull remain unimpressed. Zack is next, you’d expect him to do some dancing since that’s the only thing we know about his character so far, but instead he stands on a desk and pretends he’s surfing and it looks exactly as stupid as you probably think. Next up, Kimberly demonstrates a handstand. Her hobby is handstands. Billy shows us his homemade volcano (the same stupid experiment you’ve seen in every elementary school science fair, only this one’s purple.) Just then the bell rings and everyone goes to leave. Bulk sneaks up and steals Mr. Ticklesneezer and he and Skull start tossing it around, but after some shenanigans Bulk gets his mouth filled with purple lava. Gross.

That night we see the inside of Trini’s room where she is saying goodnight to her dolls, her room looks like the unicorn room in the movie Dodgeball. She turns out the light and we cut to the moon where Rita notices that Trini is very fond of Mr. Ticklesneezer. This raises a point I hadn’t thought of before… Rita is watching Trini sleep. She’s an evil screechy shrew hell-bent on the domination of the planet… AND she’s a voyeur. Awesome. Rita decides she’s going to fuck shit up (I’m paraphrasing) and Goldar sends Squat to steal Mr. Ticklesneezer from Trini’s bedroom. It seems like they probably could have just teleported it to the moon since they could teleport him down there but whatever. Squatt shoots the creepy little doll with a weird laser gun and makes Mr. Ticklesneezer grow really large and come to life. They both teleport back to the moon where Rita grills Ticklesneezer on his skills. TS informs them that he collects “goodies” in a bottle. The goons suggest he capture the Power Rangers! Brilliant.

The next day Billy has offered to help Trini search for Mr. Ticklesneezer, Trini figures she probably left him somewhere at school (even though she put him on the shelf and said goodnight to him before bed.) Ticklesneezer lands down on earth to start collecting goodies, he starts by stealing a motorcycle and putting it in his bottle, then he steals what appears to be the Eifel tower (what that was doing in Angel Grove I have no idea.) Billy and Trini pull up to an intersection where Billy suggests someone may have stolen Mr. Ticklesneezer when Trini looks up and sees the creepy little gnome himself! Neither of them seem at all surprised or disturbed by the fact that TS is now 6 feet tall, before they can do anything Mr. Ticklesneezer puts them in his magic bottle. They are afraid Ticklesneezer will try to crush them, but he explains that he doesn’t want to hurt them he just wants to keep them in his collection forever.

On the moon, Rita sends Goldar down to make sure Ticklesneezer is doing his job and we cut to the gymnasium/juice bar. Jason and Zack are sparring while Kimberly watches. Jason gets the upper hand and kicks Zack in the gut, which causes Kimberly to make “googly eyes” I guess watching Jason kick the shit out of his friend turns her right on. She brings them some 2x4s which Jason places on some cinder blocks that happen to be in the gymnasium for some reason. Before Jason punches them Kimberly says “I’m amazed at how many years of training it takes to do this without hurting yourself.” Because remember kids, this is a tv show and Saban doesn’t want to get sued because you’re a dumbass. Jason breaks the blocks with no problem, Bulk steps up to prove that it’s not so hard at all. He does so by punching a birthday cake, which is exactly as stupid as it sounds. Jason is about to try 5 blocks when their walkie-talkie/watch/transporter/communicators beep. They teleport to the command center, where Zordon and Alpha show them Billy and Trini on the crystal ball. Jason points out that they’ve been captured by Mr. Ticklesneezer (which just sounds stupider every time I type it.) Zordon informs them that Rita has Ticklesneezer under her spell. Billy and Trini call out for help and Kimberly points out to everyone that that is in fact Billy and Trini… thanks.

Zordon reveals that Rita has sent Putties, Squat, Baboo AND Goldar to help Ticklesneezer and the rangers have their work cut out for them.

IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!!!

The rangers, perhaps sensing how much work there is to be done, keep the posing to a minimum and set to work beating up putties. Ticklesneezer attempts to sneak off but trips over another cinder block (who is leaving these things everywhere?) His bottle of goodies goes flying through the air but Kimberly manages to catch it before it shatters. But she’s attacked by Goldar and the bottle goes flying again. It lands on some train tracks which is unfortunate because a train is coming!!! Just when it looks like it might be too late, Kimberly slow-motion jumps through the air to grab the bottle, because of the seriousness of the situation she only poses once. She releases Billy and Trini from the Glass Prison (I wonder if that’s what the Dream Theater song is based on. If you haven’t heard that song, do so and then that joke will be funnier)

IT’S BILLY AND TRINI MORPHIN’ TIME!

Blue and Yellow join the fray and kick some putty arse. Ticklesneezer (who seems a bit slow) asks what happened to his bottle? Rita shows up and tells Ticklesneezer to stop making excuses and collect the rangers. She throws her stick and makes him grow! Goldar and company take this as their cue to exit and leave things to the creepy giant gnome.

WE NEED DINOZORD POWER. NOW!!!

Everyone waits patiently for the stock footage to be over (I never get tired of that joke.) and then the rangers combine their zords. I’d like to see them occasionally try to defeat the monster without activating the Megazord, but it’s not happening today. Jason activates battle mode and things get serious. Zack takes charge and tells the rangers that the first thing they need to do is get the bottle away from Ticklesneezer. This confuses me. The bottle was already taken away from him, Kimberly took it and dealt with it, so why the hell does Ticklesneezer have it again? Anyway, Ticklesneezer opens the bottle and captures the megazord in the bottle! But, it’s a pretty short captivity as Jason summons the megasword which knocks the bottle out of Ticklesneezer’s hands and releases the megazord. Jason demands Rita release Ticklesneezer or they’ll bottle her up forever!!! Rita says the rangers will meet them again and teleports back to the moon. The rangers convince Ticklesneezer to relinquish all the stuff he stole. It turns out Ticklesneezer’s not a bad guy, he’s just misunderstood. There is a montage of all the things Ticklesneezer stole being returned until it transitions to Trini rolling around in her bed dreaming. She keeps repeating the phrase “give it back Ticklesneezer, give it all back.” Somewhere on the internet, someone has written slashfic about this.

Ok… so… What the fuck?! This whole god damned episode was a dream? Ticklesneezer is small again and just hanging out on the bed. Trini says she has too much Rita on the mind and goes back to sleep.

The next day it’s Bulk and Skull’s turn to demonstrate their hobby at school. Bulk informs everyone that they like parasites. Apparently they collect fleas from stray neighbourhood dogs. They lift a curtain to reveal a tiny circus, but… OH NO! WHERE ARE THE FLEAS?!!! They’re all on the teacher and she’s itchin’ like a muthafucka! Isn’t that hilarious? No, I didn’t think so either. But, then I’m still pissed off about this episode turning out to be a god damned dream! It’s like the ending of Super Mario 2! It bothers me more because there wasn’t really any reason why it had to be one, the story (stupid though it was) was still well within the realm of possibility for this show. Oh well…

THE GOOD

Goldar was actually involved in a battle for like 30 seconds so that’s something.

THE BAD

IT WAS A GOD DAMNED DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HILARIOUS

The most hilarious thing is that I’ve typed the word: “Ticklesneezer” THIRTY times in this blog. (31 counting that last one.)

Well, despite the stupid dream ending it was not a terrible episode, though not as good as the last 2. I give it 3 power coins out of 5.

Well, that’s it for this week, don’t miss Monday when we’ll be taking a look at episode 10 (double digits ya’ll!!!) entitled “Happy Birthday, Zack” a title which unfortunately doesn’t immediately pop a lame joke into my mind. Hopefully Kimberly will pop out of a cake or something. See you next week.