Episode 8 - "I, Eye Guy"

Episode 8 – “I, Eye Guy”

It’s been pouring rain here all week so there’s not a whole lot of “being outside” to be done right now. So what better way to spend my time than watching the Power Rangers?! Here we go…

RECAP

This week we start things off in Billy’s garage where Billy is showing a young boy (dressed in Steve Martin’s “train operator” costume from “The Jerk”) some science or something. Billy instructs the other rangers to put on some big glasses which Trini describes as “morphenomenal.” The young lad pushes a button his control device and the thing on the counter (which looks like an air conditioning spinny thing like you see on top of buildings) starts spinning. All the rangers start yelling “WHOOOOOOOOAAAHHHH!!!!!” and we see that they’re watching some kind of crazy roller coaster simulation. Kimberly gets dizzy and screams for them to stop, the young boy (who we learn is named Willy) stops the game and everyone takes off their glasses. Jason asks if Willy invented this game (not really a game Jason, but whatever) and Willy says he did and is planning to enter it into the junior science fair. Billy and Willy pack up their spinning roller-coaster simulator thing as they don’t want to be late for the science fair. Rita has been watching all this go down and is so impressed by young Willy’s intelligence that she decides to steal it. Apparently that kind of thing is possible when you’re Rita.

Billy and engineer Willy (that’s what I’m calling him from now on) are walking with the rest of the rangers through a field when they are jumped by puttys. There is some slow-motion kung fu and lots of putty wubbles (that’s what I’m calling the noise the bastards make. It’s like Merloc annoying…) The rangers fight off the putty’s and Billy asks engineer Willy if he’s ok. Willy says he is and they hurry off to the science fair. I have one, teeny, tiny little quibble with this… WHY WAS WILLY SO LAID BACK ABOUT THE WHOLE THING?! I mean for crying out loud he was just attacked by a team of claymation S&M monsters. Also, you think a kid that smart would figure “hey, my teenage friends with attitude sure are good at fighting those things, and they seem to know a lot about them, and they’re not at all freaked out to see them show up… gee, I wonder if they’re the flipping power rangers?!” But, I digress.

On the moon Finster tells Rita about his plan to use Eye Guy to capture the smartest children on earth. Apparently this mofo can detatch a giant eye from himself and imprison children in it. Rita thinks this sounds just dandy and tells Finster to get on it.

Back at the science fair, (which is being held in the gymnasium/juice bar which seems to house EVERY event that happens in Angel Grove) Billy and Engineer Willy are setting up the VR Air Conditioner. Billy and EW do a very strange secret handshake that includes suspender snapping and get to work.

On the moon, Finster has Eye Guy all ready, he rattles off a bunch of eyeball/seeing puns and we cut back to the gymnasium/juice bar where Bulk and Skull are complaining about the abundance of nerds at the science fair. Bulk approaches a kid with a spray gun and instructs Skull to spray some. Skull complies by spraying Bulk, causing the fat man’s pants to disappear. If there’s one thing I learned in chemistry class it’s that spraying strange liquids on yourself is not a smart move. Anyway, Bulk seems fairly unfazed by the whole thing (his pants disappearing are among the less embarrassing things that have happened to him on this show.) Billy tells Bulk and Skull to knock off their shit and Bulk doesn’t like that. Billy insults Bulk’s intelligence and Bulk threatens to clobber him. Jason and Zack step in and piss them off some more so Bulk and Skull start throwing punches. As usual this goes poorly and Billy wheels Bulk and Skull on a dolly into some girl’s “fashion makeover machine.” Horrifying noises come out of the machine and Bulk and Skull emerge dressed in drag. Science is wonderful. This uptight, “stick-up-the-ass” professor type walks over and hassles Engineer Willy about the whole thing. He disqualifies Engineer Willy despite Willy having NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH WHAT JUST HAPPENED. Engineer Willy gets real down on himself, he feels like he can’t do anything right. Look kid, I know it sucks that you got blamed for this, but stop being such a little turd.

Squatt and Eye Guy are hiding in some bushes watching Engineer Willy sitting mournfully beside a lake. Eye Guy shoots a crazy lazer out of his eyes which teleports him into a big gyroscope for some reason. I wonder if that’s what limbo’s like? An eternity of astronaut training, but you never get to go to space…

The rangers find Engineer Willy’s lucky cap and think that Rita might have something to do with it. Just then, Zordon calls the rangers and so they teleport to the command center. Zordon informs the rangers that Engineer Willy is being held inside the internal vortex, which is a world inside of Eye Guy’s eye. The only way to rescue him is to destroy Eye Guy’s wacky detatchable eye.

IT’S MORPHIN TIME!!!

Flips and poses followed by some Rangers fighting Eye Guy action ensues. They’re not having much luck solo so the rangers decide to spend 30 seconds posing and combining their weapons. They blast eye guy who blows apart into a bunch of little eyes, the rangers start celebrating, but their excitement is premature. Eye Guy reanimates himself and knocks the rangers down into a gorge. Zordon contacts Billy and tells him to leave the others to fight Eye Guy and go to a location south of where he is. That’s where Eye Guy’s eye is hanging out. Billy runs off and starts fighting the eye, he gets a good shot in with his bad ass blue lance which makes sparks explode off of Eye Guy proper. Rita’s through messing around so she throws her stick off the moon and makes Eye Guy really big.

WE NEED DINOZORD POWER. NOW!!!

The rangers flip up into their cockpits and do some serious “powering up” posing. Eye Guy waits patiently for the stock footage of the zords combining to be finished before he shoots red lightning out of one of his eyes. Jason initiates battle mode and the Megazord is activated! Eye Guy keeps shooting eyes at Megazord causing all kinds of sparks. The awesome guitar music kicks in signaling Jason to summon the megazord. The Megazord does his big ol’ slash move and blows the Eye Guy eye thing up. Engineer Willy has been saved!!!

The rangers walk back into the science fair with Engineer Willy where the dickhead professor and Ernie and playing with Engineer Willy’s roller coaster thing. Professor Dickhead apologizes to Engineer Willy for being such a twat. He even gives Willy first prize! Bulk and Skull walk in in towels and demand their clothes be returned to them. Trini obliges them, but… OH NO! Bulk and Skull’s clothes have shrunk! NOW WHAT THEY GONNA WEAR?!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

THE GOOD

A pretty decent episode actually, I liked seeing Billy do some solo fighting with his cool weapon. Too often it’s all Jason and his lame sword.

THE BAD

Engineer Willy is about the lamest character ever. Worse than Deaf Girl and Creepy Girl from last week.

THE HILARIOUS

Billy and Willy’s crazy secret handshake was AMAZING.

Another good episode! That’s two in a row now, I give this one 4 power coins out of 5.

Well, that’s it for this time. Don’t miss Monday when we’ll be taking a look at “For Whom the Bell Trolls” wherein Rita gets the idea for a monster from a Metallica concert. At first everything goes really well, but then the monster starts being a dick and yelling at everyone about downloading mp3’s, claiming to be “madly in anger with them” while Squatt and Baboo record the worst sounding drums in the history of music. Don’t miss it!