It's been a week, but I'm back and ready to rocket. Before I do I'll just briefly mention the movie I just saw. (Well, saw twice now.) I can not put into words how highly I recommend “Scott Pilgrim VS The World” to you all. It's the best movie I've seen all year and a definite contender for favorite of all time. Go now and watch it. Never mind this sill blog, just go watch it. I'll be here when you get back.
Hi again, wasn't it awesome? Told you. Now, on with today's episode.
We start things off this week with the gang watching Zack and Jason in their b-boy stance. (Is that a basketball reference? Is that what a b-boy is? I honestly have no idea.) We see that Squatt is watching them from behind some bushes and it seems that there is a plan afoot to catch the rangers unawares. Zack pulls some totally styling moves and sinks a long shot. From outside the paint. (Again, I think that's a basketball reference, but I'm just sort of faking it here.) Squatt rubs his hands together with glee, apparently he thinks that the sissy rangers won't stand a chance against the monster he and Baboo are cooking up.
On the moon, Rita is sleeping. In some kind of rocking chair or something. Squatt and Baboo sneak past her and get to work on their monster. It's supposed to be a surprise for Rita. Like a mother's day kind of thing? Baboo reveals that his dark and scary monster is a big clay turtle with a traffic light stuck into his head. In case you think you misread that, I'll say it again. It's a big clay turtle with a traffic light stuck into his head. Squatt is as puzzled as we are about what the hell Baboo thinks they will accomplish with Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head, but Baboo says he'll have to wait and see. Anyway, Squatt comes up with the name “Shelshock” for the little dickens, but I'm sticking with “Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head.” They decide to send some putties down to Earth to soften up our heroes before they send Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head into action.
The basketball game is continuing only now it's Jason and Tommy VS Zack. He's so good at basketball that he can take both of them on! The putties run in and steal the rangers ball. Jerks. Kung Fu happens etc. My favorite part is when Tommy hits a putty in the stomach with the basketball. What a badass. After being squashed by the rangers the remainder of the putties retreat causing Squatt and Baboo to make weepy noises. They decide it's time to send in Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head. Tommy leaves to head to karate practice and the others walk up to a hotdog cart that happened to roll up just as the putties disappeared. Lucky. Coincidentally, Bulk and Skull follow the food into the scene and steal the rangers ball. Heated words are exchanged before the situation turns to fisticuffs. As per usual, the tussle ends with Bulk and Skull falling into the hotdog cart and getting covered in condiments. After the idiocy that was the previous scene, we cut to Squatt and Baboo giving instructions to Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head. They tell him to freeze them with his “stop-ray” (creative name) first. Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head shoots a lazer and blows up the basketball. They're really getting their money's worth out of that prop.
IT'S MORPHIN TIME!
Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head shoots the “go beam” at Trini which apparently makes unable to stop moving, she runs off in the opposite direction of the fight as the other rangers leap into action. They kick him so hard that suddenly they're in the city and not the park. Weird. Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head uses the “stop beam” again on the rangers and freezes them in place. Then (and stay with me here, because it gets a little wiggy) he pulls his turtle head into his turtle shell and pushes out a cannon barrel. He shoots it at the rangers, and it looks like he hits them, but I guess he didn't because Jason just jumps through the sparks and shoots his own laser. Squatt, Baboo and Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head retreat.
On the moon, Goldar is giving everybody shit for doing all this without Rita's permission. We see that Rita isn't really sleeping, just faking it. We don't know why she'd be doing such a thing, but there you go. Another thing that's weird is that Goldar has a completely different voice than usual. Rita wakes up and praises the efforts of her goons. It's like this weird episode takes place in some kind of bizarro universe.
At the command center, Alpha explains that Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head used his “stop ray” on the Blue, Black and Pink rangers and that's why they're frozen in position. He tells Jason that there is no known cure. Didn't Squatt and Baboo just create this guy? Why would Alpha know anything about him? And how would he know about the beam? Bah. Zordon pipes up and says that there is a rare flower that can reverse the effects of the beam. Apparently it only grows on the mountain of hope. He has sent Trini to retrieve it, before Rita destroys them all.
Rita doesn't intend to make it easy for them and she MAKES HER MONSTER GROW! Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head starts knocking over buildings and says this awesome line: “Wait till these teenage mutants see what a full grown turtle can do. Ha! Ninja Turtles allusion. Jason stands around like an asshole in the command center and watches the turtle wreak havoc.
WE NEED DINOZORD POWER! NOW!!!
T-Rex charges into action (or rather slowly stumbles into action.) Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head grabs a bat and a big hook and starts to tussle with T-Rex. While this is going on we cut back to Tommy who is just spinning around a stick in a karate class. Doesn't he have a fucking communicator watch? Why didn't the rangers call him when this started? We don't find out yet because we cut to the planet where Trini is still unable to stop moving, but is searching for the flower. At the fight Jason yells for help, apparently his zord can't handle too much more. Zordon tells Trini that he has sent her the Sabre Tooth Tiger zord to help retrieve the flower. She says the words “I call on the power of the sabre tooth tiger to bring me the flower!” and then magically the flowers appear in her hand. The zord doesn't do a god damn thing. WHAT?!
At the juice bar/gymnasium Tommy's communicator watch finally goes off.
IT'S BOTH MORPHIN TIME AND FLUTE PLAYING TO SUMMON DRAGONZORD POWER! TIME NOW!!!
T-Rex and the way cool Dragonzord keep pounding away at Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head. But just when it looks like Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head is finished he manages to nail T-Rex and Dragonzord with the stop beam! But, Trini arrives just in time and sprinkles pixie dust from the flower on Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head which releases all the rangers from the powers of Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head. Dragonzord does the cool “rocket-launcher in its fingers” trick and he and T-Rex blast Clay-Turtle-With-Traffic-Light-Stuck-In-His-Head into oblivion. In the command center, it's high-fives all around. On the moon Rita is pissed and as usual shouts at her goonies. Next time Gadget! Next time!
Back on earth those teens still have nothing better to do than play basketball again. Tommy challenges Zack to a game where the winner must buy lunch. Zack trash talks and buries Tommy. Billy steps up and challenges Zack to double or nothing. Something fishy is going on! Billy manages to steal the ball from Zack and then slam dunks it. I figured there would be a twist here, but there isn't. Billy just dunks the ball and wins I guess and we go to credits. That's a fucked up ending.
More action that usual, and the rangers being split up means we saw different things than the usual Megazord>Sword>Win combo we usually see.
The weird Billy basketball ending.
THERE WAS A GOD DAMN GIANT TURTLE WITH A TRAFFIC LIGHT STICKING OUT OF HIS HEAD THAT SHOT MAGIC RAYS AND COULD ONLY BE DEFEATED BY A FUCKING FLOWER.
A good episode coming out of the 5 part Green ranger story! I give it 3.5 power-coins out of 5.
That's it for today, don't miss friday when I'll be taking a look at episode 23 “Itsy Bitsy Spider” in which David Cronenberg comes to town and he and David Lynch have a “who's the more weird” competition with the rangers as judge! (Cronenberg made a movie called “Spider.” I couldn't come up with a funny joke and haven't actually seen it so couldn't really reference it. It's my first day back after a week off, cut me some slack.)