Thursday, July 1, 2010

Episode 12 - "Power Ranger Punks"

Episode 12 – “Power Ranger Punks”

I am taking a break from my Canada day festivities (ok, I was just sitting on the sofa reading Wired but we all choose to celebrate in our own way) and it’s Morphin’ Time. Let’s rock.


We start things off this week with a little 2 on 2 power rangers action. Before you get too excited (or horrified) I should mention that it’s 2 on 2 volleyball. Just some good wholesome teenage fun.

On the moon, Squat and Baboo are brewing up something called “punk potion” apparently it’s really going to thrill Rita. Back at the volleyball game we’re treated to a truly awesome moment wherein Kimberly goes to set the ball, Zack cheers “Yeah! Go Kimberly” but, the ball doesn’t clear the net and Zack then says “Oh… good hustle.” I guess there wasn’t money in the budget to reshoot that shot, but it struck me pretty damn funny. We cut to a truly bizarre (even for this show) scene of Baboo riding past a city skyline on a big-wheel. Words can’t describe so just check out the picture and tell me you don’t love this show. Jason’s next serve is just too perfect for Kimberly and Zack to withstand and the game is over! But don’t celebrate just yet you plucky teens you because you’re about to be ambushed by the putty patrol! What’s that? That doesn’t bother you in the slightest because you always kick the shit (clay?) out of the putty patrol in seconds? Well smart-asses, this time it’s a DISTRACTION! Baboo rides past on his fucked up bike and drugs the rangers lemonades. Soon the rangers will ingest the PUNK POTION. If I was Baboo I’d have just poisoned the bevies, but that’s just me. Kimberly and Billy chug their potions and immediately start grunting and acting weird. They knock over all the rest of the drinks. They immediately start being jerks and mocking their friends, calling them dorks and everything!

On the moon, Baboo is trying to explain that he’s the one responsible for the present situation, Rita doesn’t seem to give a shit and ignores him. She goes to Finster and tells him to get a monster ready, he tells her about the evil frog-monster he’s making. Looks menacing… I guess.

At Angel Grove High we see Bulk and Skull trying to get into a locker, but the darn thing’s jammed! Bulk finally forces it open and a bunch of crap comes pouring out of it. Looked kind of like popcorn to me… why the fuck does Bulk have a locker filled with popcorn? Anyway, Kimberly and Billy march in wearing outfits that are very… punk? I guess? Well Billy looks like 80s Bruce Springsteen crossed with Vanilla Ice and Kimberly looks like Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease, but with a choke collar. They menace some poor nerd and try to take his lunch money. The poor sap claims he has none and Billy calls him useless and pushes him aside. In real life if a kid has no lunch money the bullies beat the stupid out of him. Kimberly marches up to Skull and tells him that he’s her kind of man. She invites him to go out Saturday night and destroy property. Skull seems fine with that. Bulk isn’t as stupid as he looks because he notices that something’s not right, but before he can make his suspicions heard too loudly Billy tells him he’s not the baddest dude around anymore and smashes him against a locker. Damn Billy, YOU SCARY! Zack laments the fact that Kimberly and Billy have “turned into punks on us.” Now, I’m not a HUGE punk-rock fan, though I do enjoy a great deal of it, but I have to admit I’m a little disturbed by the painting of punk-rock fans as delinquents. I don’t think that Billy and Kimberly are acting like “punks” so much as “assholes.” Shame on you Power Rangers, for trying to turn kids against a particular style of music. Alpha 5 and Zordon are watching all this nonsense go down and Zordon instructs Alpha to transport everyone there and to encase Billy and Kimberly behind a transparent force-field. Because when people are doing something you don’t like you lock them up. Right Toronto police? HAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Zordon informs the rangers that Baboo drugged Billy and Kim and made them into dicks. The only cure is a potion made from the sap of a magic squash found in a dimentional gap. We see a flashback of Zordon as a young’un fighting putties. Suddenly, an alarm goes off alerting the rangers to the fact that Rita has sent the frog monster, “The Terror Toad” down to earth. You know what that means:


Zack, Jason and Trini charge in with their blade-blasters and start fighting the frog. But, the Terror Toad has a crazy trick up his sleeve. He shoots a yellow laser tongue out of his mouth that grabs Trini and pulls her into his mouth. So yeah, Billy and Kimberly are of no help because they’re in prison and Trini is in the belly of the frog. Zordon tells Alpha that he’s found the squash and sends him to retrieve it. Then Billy and Kimberly decide to really turn up the heat on old Zordon. Billy asks Zordon “Why don’t you stop bugging that frog and let us out of here?!” and Kimberly follows that up with “Yeah! You big brained GEEKOID!”… terrific.

Alpha has found the squash and is about to grab it when he’s jumped by putties, they seem to have the jump on him, but then he activates his internal defenses (he electrocutes them! Bad. Ass.)

Meanwhile, Jason and Zack are getting beat pretty bad, not only is the Terror Toad winning the fight but he’s also taunting Jason and Billy something FIERCE. The Terror Toad devours Zack the same way he did Trini and a little picture of Zack’s head appears beside Trini’s on the monsters belly. I wish my stomach had a little picture of whatever I ate on it.

Back at the command center, Alpha has retrieved the squash and administers the potion to Billy and Kimberly. The effects are instantaneous and the spell is broken. Kimberly is disgusted by her outfit but quickly notices Jason fighting on the crystal ball thing. Zordon informs them that the only way to defeat the Terror Toad is to break off his horn and then look for his weak spot just below his neck. Thanks Zordon, maybe you should have told Trini and Zack that before HE FUCKING ATE THEM!


Kimberly and Billy do an awesome pose and flip through the air, slicing off Terror Toad’s horn. This just pisses TT right off and he counters by eating Jason! That leaves the 2 most useless rangers all alone! Billy leaps through the air to attack the weak spot but in true Billy fashion he fucks it up and is promptly eaten by Terror Toad. Kimberly leaps into action and somehow shoots FOUR arrows with her bow in one jump. All 4 arrows hit TT in the spot below the neck, which somehow releases the other rangers. The theme music starts playing which tells me that Terror Toad’s time on this planet is nearly done. Jason signals for Kimberly to finish him off and she fires one more big arrow straight into TT’s mouth. He explodes into a bunch of sparks and all is right with the world.

The next day at the gymnasium/juice bar the rangers are just hanging out doing complicated gymnastics like normal teenagers when Bulk and Skull enter. Skull is wearing a bow tie. Bow ties are cool. Kimberly appears to be disgusted by Skull yet again. Skull is confused, “didn’t we have a date” he asks? Yes Skull you did, and you dressed up all nice too. Once again I feel pity for poor Skull. Bulk steps up and suggests they make it a double date, eying Trini. Poor Bulk, he just wants to be loved. By a foxy asian. Billy gets in Bulk’s face and informs him that Kimberly and Trini don’t date Neanderthals. Well Bill, they don’t date geeky, bespectacled, socially inept weirdo’s either so let them fight their own battle. Bulk is none-too-pleased by Billy’s boldness and they decide their differences the way that men have been doing so for thousands of years: Volleyball. Conveniently, a volleyball net has been set up in the middle of the gymnasium/juice bar and Billy and Bulk step into whatever the volleyball equivalent of the “squared circle” would be. Bulk serves, Billy spikes it into Skull’s head and then Bulk stumbles into the net for no apparent reason bringing it crashing to the ground. Well not really “crashing” but it falls down with Bulk and Skull tangled up in it. OH YOU GUYS! YOU SO ZANY!!!


It was great to see an episode where they defeated the monster in a less formulaic way. It’s nice not to see every episode end with the Megazord showing up.


Billy and Kimberly’s punk dialogue


Baboo on that big-wheel. That was amazing.

Overall that was a good episode, it wasn’t as formulaic as usual, it was pretty funny (not always intentionally) and Billy and Kimberly got the spotlight which we don’t see very often. I give this one 4 power coins out of 5.

That’s all the time we have for this installment. Don’t miss Tuesday when we’ll be taking a look at episode 13 “Peace, Love & Woe” wherein the rangers are attacked by Hippies throwing fish eggs… wait… woe? Not roe? Oh… that joke doesn’t really make a lot of sense then does it… bah fuck it. Happy Canada Day everyone!!!

1 comment:

  1. It was kind of awesome to see Billy slam Bulk into a locker. I wish he’d beat him up a little more. I mean I don’t dislike Bulk that much but it’s just so mind-blowing that that happened. You can see Bulk’s worldview was shattering.

    And yeah, what’s the deal with anti-punk bias? Bulk and Skull are punks. The gang working Shredder were punks. Even in non-action cartoons if there’s a bully, he usually has spiky hair and is fat. I can only assume that when the original punk rockers were trying to shock everyone by looking scary, they succeeded, and that affected their portrayal in media.