Episode 14 - “Foul Play in the Sky”
VICTORY IS MINE! I have conquered the computer problems that plagued me last week and I have a nice fresh install of Ubuntu all set up on this machine. Having spent a few days using Linux I am kicking myself for not making the switch sooner. This is the best operating system I've ever used and I can't foresee a reason for me to ever want to go back to Windows! But, you aren't here to listen to me rant about the wonders of open-source. You're here because you are desperate to find out what our heroes the Power Rangers are up to this week, so without any further ado I present:
We start things off this week at the Angel Grove airport. Kimberly is meeting her uncle Steve who is taking her flying! Not sure why a girl who flies around in a giant pteradactyl robot is so excited by this, but it's Kimberly so I won't even pretend to understand what goes on in her head...
At the juice bar/gymnasium, Jason is punching a punching bag in a very fast, aggressive manner. He seriously looks like Jake LaMotta and it's scaring the hell out of me! We pull back to see that Zack is helping by holding the bag, he really seems to like watching Jason work out. But, before I can call his sexuality any further into question he points out a girl playing with a hula-hoop (which apparently is a normal exercise to do in a juice bar/gymnasium) he tells Jason that it's the girl of his dreams. Zack strolls up to hula-chick and she shoots him down in a very embarassing scene that ends quite abruptly as we jump cut to the moon.
On the moon, Rita is outlining her new plan to her goons. She wants to drug pilot Steve (Kimberly's uncle) with a sleeping potion so he'll crash the plane (why she doesn't just throw her staff into one of the engines is beyond me) and then send down something called “scissor.” Not sure if that's the name of a monster or if she's just going to start throwing office supplies at the rangers. Squatt teleports down to the planet and puts some potion into uncle Steve's soda. It seems like he pours an awful lot of it... the can must have been half empty.
Nearby, Bulk and Skull are sitting on a bench with binoculars looking at planes and waxing philosophical about their desire to take to the skies. Bulk and Skull spot Kimberly walking across the runway with her uncle, they run across the tarmac and beg Kimberly to take them flying too, uncle Steve agrees despite Kimberly's objections. Everyone climbs aboard and uncle Steve preps for take-off. They take to the skies in a very boring sequence that takes too long. (Seriously, of all the things to try to be accurate about on this show, why taxiing?) Once up in the air, Bulk and Skull realize that they're afraid of flying. OH YOU RASCALS!
Back on the moon, Goldar explains the next part of the plan. They're going to send down the snizzard. Half snake, half lizard. So apparently it wasn't scissors afterall. Frankly, I'm disappointed. He shoots snakes out of a bow and arrow to drain the energy out of his enemies.
Back in the sky, Kimberly's uncle Steve points out the mountains to Kimberly. She says she has a lot of memories of these mountains, 13 episodes worth so far! We go into a flashback sequence from the first episode that goes on for a pretty long time. (Again, must have been short on the script this week.) Suddenly, Kimberly notices that uncle Steve doesn't look so good! He tells her he's feeling a little dizzy and Bulk and Skull promptly start freaking out. Justified in this case if you ask me. Rita is ecstatic! She Scissor-man (fuck it, that's what I'm calling him) to finish the rangers off once and for all.
Back in the cockpit (giggity) Kimberly takes her uncles pulse and determines that he's unconscious (what?) luckily for Kimberly, Bulk and Skull pass out so she can radio Alpha 5 for help! The alarm starts blaring, alerting Alpha to Scissorman's attack! Oh the shit has really hit the fan now! Zordon teleports the other rangers to the command center where Zordon informs them that they have to go stop Scissorman. Alpha tells Kimberly he's going to talk her down “Airplane” style. Looks like Alpha picked the wrong week to quit drinking. (If you don't get that reference... then fuck you.)
IT'S MORPHIN TIME!
The rangers (sans Kimberly) leap into battle in the middle of a park that has a dozen tiny Easter Island statues in it for some reason. Angel Grove is a weird place.
Meanwhile, Kimberly is barreling straight towards a mountain. Alpha tells her to move the flight yoke to the left and go around it. Wow. It's a good thing you were there Alpha, Kimberly wouldn't have figured that one out on her own.
Back at the weird park, Scissorman is kicking the shit out of the other rangers. He drains most of their energy with the weird snakes he shoots out of his bow and arrow! Hurry Kimberly, before it's too late.
On the plane, Bulk and Skull wake up briefly, only to faint again when they see that Kimberly is flying the plane. Yeah guys, I'd probably faint too. Alpha gives Kimberly a pep-talk about self-confidence and she lands the plane safely. Remember kids, all you need to be able to fly a airplaine is CONFIDENCE! Once she's on the ground uncle Steve conveniently wakes up and finishes parking the plane. Kimberly runs away from the scene to join the fray!
IT'S MORPHIN TIME AGAIN BUT ONLY FOR KIMBERLY!
Just in time Kimberly! Scissorman summons about 15 putties whom Kimberly dispatches with no difficulty. Scissorman prepares to unleash his ultimate move. TORSO-SNAKES! (Not making that up) two little snakes wriggle out of his torso and Kimberly just shoots them with her bow. WOW. Then she shoots an arrow at the weird apple that is growing on the top of his head and he explodes. That is what we call “anti-climactic”
As usual, Rita is furious and blames everyone but herself for this most recent failure. Rita, when will you learn that you'll never succeed until you learn to start taking responsibility for your own actions?
Back on the tarmac, Bulk and Skull are revived by the paramedics and then run off into the sunset. Those are some weird dudes. Back at the juice bar/gymnasium some guy who looks like Sandra Bernhard is flirting with Kimberly and telling her how brave she is. Zack and Jason are mocking him, but I think they're secretly jealous that they hadn't thought of it first (seriously, it's working. It looks like Kimberly's about to blow him.) Zack accidentally elbows the hula-chick from the beginning causing her milkshake to go flying, and, this being Angel Grove, there's only one place a stray milk-shake can land. That's right, on the heads of Bulk and Skull who just happened to walk in to the juice bar/gymnasium at the wrong time.
Lots of Bulk and Skull, despite how stupid they are, I get a kick out of them.
All the tedious airport shit.
Torso Snakes... seriously?
A bit of a step backwards in terms of quality after the last few episodes, but that's because there was very little action and a lot of boring airplane stuff, but it did have torso-snakes so I'm giving this one 2.5 powercoins out of 5.
Well, that's all the time we have for this week, don't miss friday's post where we'll be taking a look at episode 15 “Dark Warrior” wherein they must defeat their most terrifying foe yet. The Ultimate Warrior of 1980s WWF fame!