Friday, July 23, 2010

Episode 17 - "Green With Evil - Part I"

Episode 17 - “Green with Evil Part 1”

Hi folks, apologies for today's late posting. I've been working crazy hours and haven't been able to devote the time I would like to the blog. But here I am, better late than never right?! No off-topic recommendations today due to the work I've been doing so we'll just get right into today's story. We're finally into the Green Ranger stuff! I've been looking forward to this for a while now! Let's roll.


We kick things off this week at Angel Grove Martial arts expo! (Which, of course, is being held at the gymnasium/juice bar.) The team is giving Jason a pep-talk. (Well not the whole team. Kimberly is just drinking a Big-Gulp.) Jason points out that he's going to need all the advice he can get as the kid he's going up against is pretty spectacular (again, except for Kimberly who just says he's cute. That girl is USELESS.) The announcer tells us that Jason will be competing against this new challenger in a martial arts competition.

Rita, meanwhile, has been watching this all unfold and thinks he'd be a perfect Green Ranger! It's such a brilliant idea! She can't believe she hadn't thought of it before now. Neither can I frankly, she's been using the same damn plan over and over again for weeks.

Back at the gymnasium/juice bar, the competition is under way. Jason is winning 2-1 over Tommy (I have no idea how this competition is being judged, but I doubt it really matters.) The fight continues with Tommy gaining the upper hand. With the score tied up the two warriors get back into it. Tommy lands another blow and takes the lead. This is getting boring. Like REALLY boring. Basically it ends with Jason and Tommy battling to a draw. Jason and Tommy shake hands. Tommy seems like a pretty nice fella. Jason's friends are all so proud, even Kimberly offers him some of her Big Gulp. Everyone wanders off to do teenage things, leaving Kimberly who is staring at the ever-so-dreamy Tommy. Sigh, he's such a hunk.

The next day, Kimberly is at her locker when up walk Bulk and Skull. As per usual, Skull is trying to hit on Kimberly who tells him to scram. Bulk says it's time to teach her a lesson. We never get to find out what kind of lesson the fat man had in mind because Tommy walks up and tells Bulk and Skull to beat it. Bulk threatens Tommy which causes Tommy to start jumping around and doing spin-kicks in the air like a lunatic. It has the desired effect though as it sends Bulk and Skull running. Kimberly thanks the big strong man for saving her (for christ's sake, she's a goddamn power ranger and Bulk and Skull are buffoons, it's not like she really needed his help. But, she plays the helpless damsel card and manages to score a date with handsome Tommy for the following afternoon at the youth center.)

Meanwhile, Rita calls forth the power of the sixth power coin. I guess she just had one kicking around. She plans to turn Tommy to the evil green ranger after he faces down some putties in a test!

In an alley full of cardboard boxes and wooden pallettes the putties attack Tommy who beats them repeatedly over the head with a garbage-can lid. He has far less trouble with them than the other five rangers put together usually have. I guess he passed the test.

Rita is very pleased indeed. She prepares her crystal ball to receive him. (whatever that means.) Rita appears before Tommy and blasts him with her wand, teleporting him to a wacky candle-lit cave on the moon. He's unconscious laying on some kind of altar (getting a little “Rosemary's Baby” on us now”) a few magic words later and we have an evil power ranger! Rita instructs Tommy to infiltrate the command center (which he can do now since he's a ranger) and disable Zordon, then he can destroy the other rangers.

At that exact moment, Zordon is instructing Alpha to power himself down and recharge himself. Your timing SUCKS big head. Rita tells Tommy it's time to GET DOWN.


The Green Ranger is born! He has a bitching set of shoulder pads, but other than that he just looks like another ranger. He teleports into the command center and starts by sticking a mini-disc into Alpha's chest, Alpha starts freaking out and so Tommy yanks some cables out of his back. Zordon wakes up from his wacky meditative state and questions how Tommy was able to enter the command center. Tommy explains that he has a power coin. Zordon is not surprised, it turns out he knew Rita had a power coin and could recruit her own ranger. Why he didn't tell anyone else this I don't know. He does a lot of stupid shit like this. Zordon tries to convince Tommy not to be a dick (Wil Wheaton style!) but Tommy's not hearing any of it. Tommy rips a bunch of cables out of the console and Zordon becomes all staticy. I don't know if that means Zordon's dead (I doubt it) or just needs some rabbit ears or something.

Rita is thrilled that something is finally going her way. She announces that its' time for an even BIGGER surprise. Rita chucks her wand and MAKES HER MONSTER GROW!!! (Wow. Big surprise.) Goldar (he's the one they made big) starts running amok.

Meanwhile, Billy, Jason and Zack are waxing the radbug. Trini and Kimberly turn up, Kimberly is acting all depressed because Tommy never showed up for their date. Just then, Alpha contacts the rangers and attempts to tell them what's wrong. Unfortunately communication and teleportation are both down. Good thing we have the RADBUG. (I knew they'd use that stupid thing again eventually.)

At the command center the rangers discover that Tommy has fucked shit up royally. Zordon is gone and Alpha has a virus! (Should have used Linux). Billy removes the virus (by just removing the disc Tommy inserterted. Terriffic.) The rangers spot Goldar making a mess on the crazy ball viewer thing and leap into action.


The rangers are immediately attacked by the putty patrol. While the rangers fight the putties Giant Goldar stands back and watches (occasionally hitting rocks with his sword. Why doesn't he just step on them?!)


The rangers hop up into their zords and combine to form up the Megazord. The go straight into battle-mode and summon the power sword. Goldar does this crazy-awesome jump kick, and then suddenly disappears! Tommy leaps up onto the megazord and gets inside it's head (literally) he punches the rangers which somehow causes them to fall to the ground (did they go through the windshield? Holy shit!) Back on the ground the Green Ranger is kicking all 5 rangers asses quite badly! Tommy does this awesome “Street Fighter 2-Hadoken” style move. It's way cooler than any other shit the other rangers ever do. They get pwned something FIERCE and run away like little bitches. They teleport back to the command center to find Alpha still messed up. The rangers stand around calmly discussing how bad they got their asses kicked and how they'll have to defeat Tommy all on their own. Sorry, but.... THEY SHOULD BE WAY MORE CONCERNED RIGHT NOW! Goldar and Tommy are still out their wreaking havoc while they're standing around the command center like jerks! How will they overcome these odds?! We'll find out next week on another action packed installment of: POWER RANGERS! (did you like that ending I just did? Pretty exciting no?)


It's great to let a story have some time to unfold and breathe. It makes everything so much less nonsensical.


Not a lot actually, this was definitely the best episode yet.


I thought Kimberly's Big Gulp was pretty funny.

That was definitely the best story we've seen yet. 4.5 power-coins out of five!

That's all for this week, we'll watch part 2 for tuesday!

I leave you this week with another quote from the brilliant Douglas Adams' “Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy” series:

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

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